Monday, September 27, 2010

Through A Coach's Eyes

I tried out for cheerleading at Bethel College in the spring of 1997, at the end of my senior year of high school. After a lot of hard work I made the team. During the summer Bethel College offers sports camps to the community and I was asked to help out with the cheerleading camp. That is the first time that I met Becca Staples.

I remember like it was yesterday Becca walking through the Acorn doors (now the President’s Room) where we held the camp. I remember working with her and teaching her cheers, chants, dances, jumps and all the stuff cheerleaders do. I don’t know why she stuck out to me at that time but she did. She was a natural.

During my time in college I would see Becca walking around campus or coming to games with her father. Other than seeing her from a distance, we didn’t have much contact. That was until our paths would cross again in 2003, when Jon and I were hired on as the cheerleading coaches at Bethel College. When we were hired the current team had already been chosen for us. As we were meeting with the team for the first time, in walks Becca Staples.

Coaching Becca was so much fun and I’m sure at times a frustration for both of us. One thing with Becca, I could always count on her give her all. She was a hard worker, determined to succeed and try anything that I would ask of her fearlessly. She was a natural leader.

We resigned as coaches at Bethel College and Becca took over as assistant coach for awhile and now has taken over and is currently the Head Cheerleading Coach. Every now and then we get the opportunity to help Becca with tryouts or with practices.

Last year Becca and I were pregnant together. In September, Becca lost her first baby. My heart broke for her, but I didn’t understand the depth of the pain she was experiencing. All I had were prayers that I could lift up on her and Ronnie’s behalf. During the middle of the basketball season, we were able to be pregnant together again…and this time, she would have a happy ending.

I believe that during the past year Becca and I have been able to learn a lot about life and how precious it really is. I think that we understand how important prayer truly is in every part of our lives, especially with pregnancy.

I’ve started reading through my Bible in chronological order and came to this verse in Genesis 4:1 … ”With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” (Eve is talking about when she gave birth to her son Cain). Pregnancy and the gift of children, the gift of life is something that we can’t achieve on our own…it’s only through God that He blesses us and helps us.

Shortly before Becca’s due date we were talking and I just gave her some “helpful hints”. She asked me if I would want to be in the delivery room with her and help coach her through labor and delivery. I believe she even said to me, you coached me through cheerleading, you can coach me through this too.

I was completely honored by this request, so of course I said yes, but did she really know what she was getting herself into? I wanted to be sensitive to Becca and her family. I didn’t want them to feel like I was intruding and gave them permission at anytime to change their minds with having me in the delivery room with her.

I had been praying for Becca, Ronnie and baby Emery a lot, but now I knew that I needed to pray even more. I got the call last Tuesday night that Becca was going in to get induced. My heart hurt for Becca, because I too was put on pitocin and it was horrible. I read a facebook status that said that the midwife would be thrilled if Becca had Emery by 9:00 p.m. on Wednesday! (Seriously??? That is way to long to be kept on that horrible medication, especially since Becca wanted to do this on her own, no pain medication).

I was kept up to speed throughout the day on Wednesday and after I got off work, I went home, changed and was off to the hospital. Before I continue, I need to share that I would be going back to the same hospital where I delivered Joshua. I know that some might find this odd that not only would I put myself in a position to go into a delivery room with someone else, but to go back to the same hospital where I gave birth and lost my son. I want to tell you that I love the labor and delivery floor, especially at Memorial Hospital. This wasn’t my first time back…more like 3rd or 4th time back since losing Joshua. I love it because there is so much joy, anticipation, happiness…there is life on this floor. It also gives me hope that someday I too can be back there giving birth to another child that I can hold and love, just like I was able to do with Joshua.

Ok, back to Becca…because this post is all about her. As I walked through the triage doors back to her room, I saw Ronnie standing at the end of the hallway with a big smile on his face. I was so happy and excited for him I started crying.

I was then led into the labor/delivery room where Becca was. As I walked in, it was dark in the room, with a dim light on, there was no sound at all and the light smell of peppermint filled the room. I thought that I had just enterd a spa, not a delivery room. There Becca was holding onto her mother’s hand quietly, peacefully going through a contraction. While I was with Becca as she labored, this is all I witnessed. I know that she was in pain, I could see it in her eyes, in her facial expressions, but she was a rock. She had this presence about her that was so beautiful…she was just full of life and beauty.

We could see that she was getting tired. Her mom and I would just look at each other and tears would fill our eyes. I know that at anytime, Lisa or I would have gladly taken her place just to give her some time to rest and be free of pain and discomfort. As we would hold Becca’s hands and rub her back during each contraction we were also praying for Becca, Emery, her midwife and nursing staff. (Ronnie was being a great husband and fanning Becca...I just don't want you to think that he wasn't by her side, because he was...he was wonderful).

When it was finally time to start pushing I just asked God to allow this part to go quickly because I knew that Becca was tired. I just wanted Becca to be able to have her sweet baby girl safe in her arms.

As the midwife was explaining to Becca what she wanted her to do, I felt the need to pipe in and explain to Becca in cheerleading terms what she was saying…"Becca, just pretend that you are doing a tuck…you can do this!" As Becca was pushing, it was amazing to see such strength, perseverance, elegance and grace that she showed. The love that she, as a mother had at that time for her child regardless of the pain and exhaustion she was temporarily experiencing and just fighting through it was amazing and so selfless.

To hear the cheerful laughs from Ronnie with the pure joy and excitement that he was experiencing was incredible.

To hear the encouragement from Becca’s mom, the laughter as she saw Emery coming and the tears of joy streaming down her face was amazing.

Everything about Emery’s birth, the experience and the emotions is so very hard to put into words. It was wonderful, amazing, incredible, fantastic, beautiful…all of these words just don’t seem to give it justice. What I do know is that God is so big and so amazing and ALWAYS provides for us and gives us exactly what we need when we need it.

Thank you Ronnie, Becca, Lisa and little Emery for such a wonderful gift you allowed me to share and experience with you. Becca, you did a great job and made giving birth look easy! You are a rock and an inspiration.

Love, Kristin

P.S. Becca, I really think that all those standing back tucks and back tuck baskets that we made you practice all of those years really paid off because you pushed little Emery out in no time at all. See cheerleading does have a purpose in life. =)

Monday, September 20, 2010

Where Did the Summer Go?

I can’t believe that fall is here already! It’s my favorite season, but I do have to admit, summer went by way too fast.

In June we took a road trip some close friends Bill and Alicia Hulsey and their kids and Tim and Ruth Weldy and their girls to visit the Long family in Waxahachie, TX. We piled into a Suburban and an Expedition and we were on our way. The adults were out numbered: 7 children to 6 adults. (For some reason, the couple that didn’t have kids with them were the ones running behind…hmmm, who could that have been?) We had a blast and the trip to Texas went a lot faster than I thought it would. (I am not good at traveling in a car and get so antsy).

Heather’s mom graciously handed over the keys to her house, so we all could stay together for the week. We enjoyed shopping, eating, swimming, and hanging out together. Oh, I forgot to mention that they guys went hunting for the wildlife that roams in Texas and brought all the women home dinner. Yes, the mighty hunters went squirrel hunting.

We can’t believe that one week with good friends could be so fun and relaxing and go by way too fast.

Jon and I were looking at pictures/videos from our time in Texas the other night and had a good time laughing. Then after that we started to miss everyone greatly and know that things will be changing soon.

Jon and Heather along with Tim and Ruth have felt called to be missionaries over in Bangladesh. Jon and Heather are hoping to begin serving in November of this year and Tim and Ruth hope to begin serving sometime in 2011. With the change of our friends leaving the country, we are busy getting our house ready. Jon and Heather’s youngest two children (Addy and Jack) made the decision to come and live with Jon and I. (Their parents were not present when this decision was made but their grandpa Okayed it). We are so happy with the new addition to our family. This deal was made official with a handshake…so we feel that it’s a binding contract. Jon and Heather, we will take good care of your children. ☺

Even though we are sad that our friends are leaving, we rejoice with them for their willingness to go and serve and teach people about the amazing God we serve. To follow the Longs journey go to www.thelongfamily.org.

This summer has taught me a lot about life and God. There have been some good things that took place, but a lot of stress and sadness.

In June, one of my good friends mother passed away. Then in August, another one of my good friends father passed away. Both were wonderful examples of fighting the good fight and living sold out lives for Christ. My heart is filled with sadness for my friends and their families. I have never asked the question “why” with loosing Joshua. I know the reason why…but I still struggle with asking that very same question for my friends and their loss, even though the answer is the same.

I was listening to Nancy Leigh DeMoss this summer. She had a woman by the name of Rachel Barkley speaking. She is a young mother of two and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. What she said was so amazing and what I needed to hear at that moment. One of the things that she said about dealing with her cancer was this: “I don't ask why because I know the answer, and here it is. We live in a sinful world. Bad things happen, but it was not supposed to be this way, and it will not always be this way. God has a plan. He has made a way for sinful people, you and me, to be with Him in a perfect world. The way is Jesus!”

I love this and it is so true. I just wanted to scream thank you, thank you, thank you when I heard this. Life, but especially death makes you realize that the only guarantee in life is Christ. It’s a very sobering and humbling place to be, but I am so glad to be at this place.

Another struggle that we faced this summer was the joy of finding out that I was pregnant in July. We were so excited, but I didn’t expect the next feelings that I had…guilt. I felt guilty for being pregnant again and happy that we were having another baby. I felt like hadn’t mourned Joshua’s death long enough. We were trying to have another baby not to replace Joshua or to replace the void that is in our heart, we just want to have children.

We shared our news with our family and a few close friends. We knew that we would need prayer with this new journey. The next part was again heartbreaking…we lost this baby too. It was so hard because I felt so good about this pregnancy and didn’t have the fear of losing this baby. It was so painful to call up our family and tell them the sad news. As our hearts were breaking, we were again breaking our loved ones hearts.

This little baby that was with us for only a couple of weeks brought a renewed Hope to our lives. We now knew that it wouldn’t take us over a year to conceive again and the hope to have little ones in our home one day became even more real because of the promises God gives us.

This summer has been a summer of learning more about God, how good He is and how He will always provide.

Thank you all for your continued prayers. We love you all.

Kristin

To read Rachel Barkly’s amazing story go to:

Part 1: http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php?pid=10243

Part 2: http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php?pid=10245