Praise God, Joshua Ezekiel LeVan arrives!!!

From contracting all night on Friday night, to being still most of the day on Saturday until about 2:30 p.m. when the contractions picked up again. Finally at around 1:00 a.m. Sunday morning I couldn't take the pain anymore, so off to the hospital we went. Fully expecting to be sent back home (hopefully with pain medication) we were shocked to find out I was dilated to 5 cm and 90% effaced, I was not leaving the hospital. After being taken to the labor and delivery room, the contractions stopped for several hours, which made it wonderful to rest.

Around 8:00 a.m. they started me on pitocin, (which was not my friend) and got the contractions going again. By the time I got to 7 cm, I could no longer tolerate the pain and felt sick and like I was going to pass out, so I felt the need to get an epidural. Soon it was time to deliver our precious baby. Everything was going great, the baby was in perfect alignment, until they started monitoring the baby's little heartbeat again. He has never liked being monitored and decided to do a flip in order to get away. So now this little stinker was breach and backwards. It was time to make some decisions, try to deliver breach or do a C-section. After discussing the different options we decided that the best medical decision was to deliver backwards and breach. (On Friday, when I was at my doctor's appointment I was talking with my doctor and his wife and at that time his wife shared that she was born breach. I know now that God allowed me to hear this to make me feel comfortable and at peace with delivering this way and that it wouldn't cause harm to my baby).

Now many of you are thinking, she delivered the baby breach and face up!?! Yes, it was so much fun! (Remember, I was numb from mid stomach on down). We didn't know if the baby was Joshua or Anaiah, but while delivering we were able to find out first that we had a baby Joshua!!! Joshua weighed 4 lbs and 13 oz and was 18 1/4" long. He had reddish brown hair (not much) and hazel eyes with red eyelashes. He had Jon's forehead the shape of his nose, but with my bump that is in the middle of my nose. The most perfectly shaped lips, just as red as can be. His head was perfectly shaped, but his poor little bottom was bruised from all the pushing. He was so peaceful and beautiful. (or should I say handsome since he is a boy?) =)

We were able to spend the most beautiful hour with our precious baby boy. As tears of joy and thankfulness ran down our face and our family's faces we just enjoyed every second with him, taking pictures. Oh how thankful I am for my cousin's wife, Kelsi being beside us every step of the way documenting the delivery and Joshua's short but wonderful life. We were even able to take an extended family picture together, which is a miracle in itself because my poor dad got sick with the flu and had to go home that morning.

When Joshua took his beautiful last breath, we as a family gathered around, laid hands on Joshua and prayed over him, thanking God for his life and ended with singing: I love you Lord, and I lift my voice. To worship you, oh my soul rejoice. Take joy my King, in what you hear. May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear. Even though it was sung with tears being choked back, I know it was a beautiful sound in His ear.

I can't even describe what a joyful, peaceful,amazing and absolute blessing this delivery was. We had been praying ahead of time for the Holy Spirit to go before us and prepare the way for this delivery including preparing my body for delivery. We prayed against the spirit of fear, doubt and death that they had no place in the waiting room and in the delivery room, being around us or the people we loved. When we arrived at the hospital all we had was the perfect peace of God. The first nurse we met reminded us of a friend from church not only by physical characteristics and mannerisms but also with her kind and upbeat spirit, which was so comforting. All the nurses and doctors were absolutely amazing. Having parents with us in the delivery room (while laboring) and family and friends in the waiting room praying was just like we wanted, feeling every single prayer, listening to worship music and singing, having Pastor Debbie encouraging and talking me through each contraction has left us in awe of God. The best past of all was the delivery. Oh how we all just laughed through each contraction and push. (I missed some of the opportunities to push because we were all laughing so hard, it was hard to catch our breath). Our parents in the hallway felt like they were missing out on a party with all the loud laughter they heard. This delivery had God in the center of it and I believe that this is the way God intended childbirth to be. Just a time of celebrating Him and His love for us while He gives us the precious gift of life.

We were able to keep Joshua with us for as long as we wanted. We were able to allow family and friends to spend time with him, even though he already went to heaven to be with his Abba Father. This truly was a great experience and God answered so many prayers. He truly is faithful and true.

Thank you all for everything. For traveling this journey with us. It's not over. God is just getting started with using Joshua's life. It already has brought so much good...it's now going to get better. We felt that God lead us to the name of Joshua Ezekiel for a reason. His name means, God rescues and God strengthens. We know that God did just that. Joshua wasn't suppose to live to full term. There was a good possibility that if he did make it to full term that we wouldn't be able to spend time with him alive. God did rescue him and strengthened him so we could meet him, kiss him and tell him how much we love him. And then He took him home to love and care for him unlike we could ever do hear on earth.

With that said, it doesn't mean that we aren't sad and even disappointed. But God has given us such a HUGE gift already. He is good ALL the time. We know that our life has now been forever changed. That we just need to take this new road a day at a time, even a second or minute at a time. When we feel like we can't walk anymore, Jesus will be there to carry us through.

We will be finalizing the arrangements today and will post them later. Thank you again from the bottom of our hearts for everything. We love you!!!! Love, Jonathan, Kristin and baby Joshua