Update 11/06/2009

Dear Friends,I can’t tell you enough how thankful we are by your faithful prayers. We are truly blessed. This week has been a week of ups and downs but mainly a lot of searching, learning and growing. (A special thank you to those of you who have been praying and then revealing to us what God is revealing to you about His plan for our child…in perfect timing. You are letting us travel this journey and allowing God to reveal Himself to us, and then confirming to us what you already knew).This week of growth started on Sunday with Pastor Darin’s sermon on Salvation. It got me thinking that knowing that you are saved means believing with ALL your heart and mind that Jesus, God’s only Son came to earth, was born to the Virgin Mary. Lived a sinless life. He died on the cross for our sins. He was raised from the dead on the third day. By just believing in Him and surrendering our lives to Him, when we die we will have eternal life. Lets think about this a little more. All of the above in not part of this physical world around us, it is supernatural…it’s God! So, if we as believers truly believe this then why should we not expect God to heal this little baby inside of me? Doesn’t it take more faith to believe the Salvation story then it does that God’s going to completely heal my baby and make it healthy?After Sunday’s message Jon and I talked and we agreed to pray that we would like the results from the test we were having the next day to be the same as before. We truly believed that God could have healed our baby and trust me, we want/wanted to hear that the original tests were wrong. BUT we wanted this second round of testing with the specialist to come back the same so that EVERYONE would know that when our baby is healed and born healthy it was God and only God.As you know we received the answer that we prayed for. This is where the enemy started attacking us. We were starting to get sad and down. How silly of us to be upset when God answered our prayers the way we asked him to. We started saying things like “we’ve got to look at this situation realistically”. (Where is the Hope and the Faith in that!?!) Tuesday we were talking about picking out caskets and I even went to the fabric store to start looking at fabric to make a blanket to wrap my little baby in to be buried with. We still knew that God could heal this child, but we didn’t have the level of faith as before. The enemy was winning our minds over.Wednesday was equally a low day. We then went to our small group where we are studying Experiencing God. In the weekly study it again talked about prayer and sited many miracles and amazing ways God worked in Noah, Abram, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Samuel and Lazarus lives. As Christians we believe the Bible is the Word of God and everything in it is true, that God did perform these miracles and more. He has the power to do more than we can humanly think possible. On Wednesday night during this time with members of our church we should have said “Lets pray for a miracle…God did it in these peoples lives, He’s going to do one now with healing our baby”. But instead we didn’t and we talked about the devastating feeling that loosing a child brings and how to cope (initated by me). Jon and I came home and some things just weren’t sitting right with us. How could we truly have faith with this situation while thinking about caskets preparing to bury our child that is VERY alive and Very active? We took some time to be by ourselves and just pray. I had it out with God and was just so disgusted with myself that I allowed Satan to attack me and my mind and waver from the TRUTH and God’s promises. I begged Him for forgiveness. At that point more than anything I told God that I wanted this baby healed completely so that HE would get ALL the glory and honor and praise. This situation is not about Jon and I and our precious child, it’s about God! I later shared a verse with Jon that caught my eye. John 11:4. “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it”. I believe that my baby is going to be healed and God’s Son will be getting ALL the glory!Even though we were starting to head down the right path I wasn’t completely there yet. Something that I’ve written and said with the best of intention and with a sincere heart just wasn’t sitting right with me. Why was I saying “I just want God’s will”. What’s wrong saying that? Isn’t that what all Christians want is God’s will? Where did this saying begin? Is it in scriptures? By saying “I just want God’s will” like saying God, I believe…but if you want a way out from answering my prayer here it is?I then began thinking back to the Experiencing God lesson from the week before about God already knows what He wants to give you. The Holy Spirit’s task is to get you to want it-to get you to ask for it. What will happen when you ask for things God already wants to give or do? You will always receive it. Why? Because you have asked according to the will of God. When God answers your prayer, He gets the glory and your faith is increased. So my new question was…How do I really know God’s will? At this point, is when Jon called me and told me we are not planning or thinking about this child not surviving because God is going to heal it! I said good, because I was starting to feel the same way…that by thinking like we had been is not having faith.As stated above, with my question where do we learn to say “I just want God’s will to be done”? Well as I thought about it more, all I could think of was the Lord’s prayer where it says “your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”. It occurred to me that it doesn’t say “your will be done”…it says “your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”. Heaven is perfect…it’s where God is...He is perfect. This earth is not perfect, we aren’t perfect. If we read what the Bible says about God, and if we believe God’s word is TRUE then scripture has already told us what God’s will is for this baby and it is for this baby to be healed and live.After receiving an encouraging e-mail from someone we don’t know, and they don’t know us, they have just heard our story they just felt like they needed to share their own story of faith and God’s healing power with us. They encouraged us to go and buy the book Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize. (Anyone who is trying to get pregnant, is pregnant needs to get this book immediately…I wish I would have known about it sooner, but then if I did, we wouldn’t be sharing this experience with you now). Last night I took sometime to read the first two chapters, and I can tell you now with 110% faith that my child will be healed and the sickness it had was not God’s will! I know what the test results said, and I don’t care! Sickness and death is from Satan…so is doubt! Doctors and test results do not have the final say in my babies condition, God does! God is my source, our final authority and His will is for our baby to be healed and for me to carry this baby to full term and deliver a healthy baby. I’m making my baby a blanket just as I had originally planned, but it’s to bring my baby home in because I believe.Fellow believers it is time for us to take back what God has given to us. To stop believing Satan’s lies! It is time for us to stop being blinded by what we know in this physical world and rely on the ONE and ONLY TRUTH and what HIS PROMISES are to us. Of course it makes absolutely no sense at all to say that my baby that was diagnosed with having oligohydramnosis and bi-lateral renal agenesis is going to live…no modern medicine can fix my baby, BUT with God as the GREAT PHYSICAIN it makes ALL the sense in the world!To our church family, It is time for us to be on our knees speaking Biblical Truths about God’s promises and not hold back. There are so many that are struggling with infertility and carrying a child to full term…It is time for us to truly experience God and His plan for our lives. It is time for us to pray for one another with faith that can move mountains or for those who are just getting started, the faith of a mustard seed. The TRUTH is in the Living Word. It’s time for healing to take place.Jon and I are asking that those who would like to join in prayer, prayer for complete healing, that you stand with us in agreement for what we are asking of our God and what is confirmed by His Word. It’s time that we use scripture to pray and to confess His Truths to the deceiver. It’s time for us to use the power that God has given us as believers. It’s time to not rely on our own understanding and knowledge but that of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.Thank you, thank you with all our hearts for your prayers. Keep them up…make them big, because you can’t out think God! Love, Jon and Kristin